Last night’s season premiere introduced Kutcher as Walden Schmidt, lonely and possibly suicidal billionaire — but first it introduced us to Charlie’s funeral. How did he die? Rose (Melanie Lynskey) pushed him in front of a Paris subway car, leading to a closed casket. Which means, for those of you holding out hope for a Sheen return some day, no one saw the body and there’s no proof he’s dead.
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